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Why do couples try a sleep divorce before filing a real divorce?

When a marital relationship breaks down to a point where people cannot stand being around one another, one spouse may eventually file for divorce. However, the longer a couple has remained married, the more likely they are to try creative solutions before deciding to file for a marital dissolution.

You may have identified a mismatch in your schedules or your spouse’s loud snoring as the primary source of strain on your relationship. When you don’t get enough sleep because of your spouse, it is easy to start to resent them. Some couples struggling to maintain their marital relationship may find that a sleep divorce could help them save their marriage.

What does a sleep divorce involve?

A sleep divorce essentially ends the practice of sharing a marital bed. Instead of going to sleep together every night, the two of you have separate rooms. You still live together and remain married, but you do not sleep in the same bed together every night anymore and may no longer try to maintain the same schedule.

For couples considering a sleep divorce as the last option before they file for a legal divorce, negotiating a postnuptial agreement in the early stages of the sleep divorce could be a smart move. While you are still both willing to work with one another, you can agree to certain terms for the division of your property or parental responsibilities so that you won’t waste time and money fighting about those details if the sleep divorce doesn’t resolve your issues.

Sleep deprivation can do real harm to your mental health and relationship

Maybe you are a light sleeper who can’t help but jolt awake whenever your spouse starts snoring. Perhaps their schedule means that they come into bed when you have already been asleep for three or four hours. They disrupt you when they come to bed, and you disrupt them when you get up in the morning. Both of you may not get the sleep you require in such situations.

A lack of sleep will make you irritable and will compromise your decision-making abilities. You will likely start to resent your spouse as you feel the physical and mental impact of sleep deprivation diminish your daily quality of living.

Making arrangements so that the two of you can sleep separately could be a move that potentially saves your marriage. If the two of you also negotiate a postnuptial agreement, reestablishing your obligations to one another and expectations for each other could help you rework your relationship and keep it functional.

Recognizing when alternatives may help and when filing for divorce is necessary can help you make the best choices during a difficult time in your life and your marriage.